Have you been feeling depressed, angry, anxious or irritable and unable to pinpoint the reason for feeling this way? Are you tossing and turning at night unable to sleep with your thoughts spinning around in your mind? Experiencing stomach cramps, headaches and a racing heartbeat?
If you have had any of these symptoms, then emotional suppression could be the cause of it. It is crucial that you do not ignore your emotions and feelings for the sake of your well-being. Working through your difficulties is necessary in order to prevent a mental and physical health crisis.
What does it mean to suppress our emotions and feelings?
When we suppress our emotions and feelings it means that we deny what we are experiencing in our inner world. We often tend to sweep our feelings under the rug and pretend that we are not affected by events that have taken place.
For example, you might feel annoyed because your co-worker plays music loudly in a shared office space and you’re unable to concentrate on your work. You pretend that it doesn’t bother you. This is a daily occurrence and your feelings of irritation builds up with each passing day. Or, another more serious example could be that you were hijacked and never acknowledged that you were afraid and felt helpless as a way of not wanting others to perceive you as being weak.
Suppressing your emotions and feelings negatively impacts your mental health
Avoiding our emotions and feelings is detrimental to our mental well-being. Difficult emotions are stored in our memories and festers like a wound. Feelings grow stronger the longer it is left unresolved. Increased feelings of anger towards a person or situation could eventually affect our thinking and cause us to turn our anger inwards and internalise experiences, leading to self-blame, guilt and eventually depression.
Victims of abuse often eventually blame themselves and not the perpetrator for acts perpetrated against them. When victims don’t speak to anyone about the abuse, their anger may turn into guilt and self-loathing. They may think that they must have done something wrong to deserve this treatment. They even judge their own initial emotional responses.
All of these pent-up feelings could also lead to an individual being aggressive emotional outbursts (feelings of anger could lead to aggressive behaviour) during other social interactions. A vicious cycle of negative thought patterns and feelings is formed which eventually governs the life of an individual who suppresses their feelings and emotion.
The effects of difficult emotions and feelings on our physical health
Did you ever notice how you feel physically ill when experiencing emotional stress? Your muscles tense up, your heart rate increases, you may experience stomach upsets, your throat closes up, you tend to perspire – to mention but a few symptoms. This is your autonomic nervous system letting you know that something is wrong.
According to various studies conducted, difficult emotions or stress could contribute towards a person developing a number of physical conditions, with hypertension being one of them. This specific condition is characterised by increased blood pressure.
Chronic hypertension could lead to arteriosclerosis, which is the narrowing of the arteries of the heart, according to the American Heart Association (2007). Based on a study conducted,(feelings of hostility can cause coronary heart disease (Nancy. E. Miller et el., 1998). When people who had high hostility levels were exposed to verbal harassment (stressor) they showed higher cardiovascular responses than those who were exposed to low levels of hostility. Thus it can be concluded that emotions have an effect on thoughts, thoughts affect feelings and this, in turn, impacts your physical health.
How to work through your difficult emotions:
- Acknowledge that you are feeling overwhelmed by heavy emotions.
- Move towards accepting your internal experiences.
- Name the emotion. For example, “I am feeling disappointed.”
- Do an enquiry (with yourself) to find out why you are feeling this way. This will assist you in finding the root of it all.
- Become conscious about any harmful thought patterns that may have added to your emotional state.
- Be present in the moment and try not to overthink “What if?” or “I should have” scenarios.
- Do not judge yourself. There are no right and wrong feelings. Sit with your feelings, understand it and let it pass.
If this exercise becomes too exhausting, take a break and do something else. Journal important points and return to it later.
Knowing someone who you can speak to who is trustworthy and non-judgmental, will be of great benefit to you. It helps to verbalise your emotions, putting your thoughts and feelings into perspective. If you are really struggling, speak to a professional who will be able to help you work through your feelings.
Our feelings help us to learn about ourselves and why we react the way that we do. Remember that pain does not last forever. When we encounter difficult emotions, hold space for it and express it in appropriate ways.
For instance, when you are calm enough, you can speak up about your boundaries being violated, preventing uneasy emotions from building up inside of you. Each emotion and feeling holds a message and helps us to grow as we become more self-aware.
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