Dealing with change can be difficult. One moment we are going through our daily activities, thinking that we have found our groove – comfortable with the rhythm of life. The next moment we are on the floor because the rug was pulled out from beneath us.
We quickly get up from the ground and try to find our balance as we try to make sense of what just happened; determined to find the culprit. During times of change and transition this is what it could feel like; as if you’re stumbling, falling and out of sync.
Life is ever-changing. Some transitions are gradual, like growing older and having to adjust to our adult children moving out of the family home (known as empty nest syndrome); deciding to relocate in the future or adjusting to sharing your life with another person after getting married. Perhaps you started a new business and still trying to figure out how to make it work.
There are other shifts that are more sudden. Abrupt changes could be a job loss, the passing of a loved one, an illness, an accident that impacts your physical well-being or the onset of a pandemic. None of us are exempt from facing the challenges that accompany life transitions.
Think about the stressful time that we have all had to endure during the COVID-19 pandemic. We had to navigate through a dark uncertain time dealing with various uncertainties and we are still currently working through its the aftermath.
Ending an old chapter in our lives can be hard….
Sometimes it feels as if the page has turned and we were not even finished with the previous chapter yet. When we have to transition from one way of living our lives to another, thoughts of self-doubt may sneak up on us as we slowly become less confident.
A season of the unknown can cause us to feel lost and disoriented. We find ourselves battling with mixed feelings of excitement, fear, happiness, nervousness and overwhelm all at once. These feelings are all normal as we try to adapt.
My daughter recalled how she felt when she started high school. She said, “I felt overwhelmed because it was a big leap from what I was use to. Everything was harder. The work was more, I didn’t have any friends, I had to find my place again. I also had to manage my expectations. I expected high school to be a different type of scene.” Eventually she carved out her own path both socially and academically.
How to cope with change:
Change is inevitable. Life is a never-ending cycle of transitions that we have to adjust to. How do we deal with the stress that comes with the constant shifting?
Gather your thoughts:
Take a moment to think and let it sink in. Find a private place where you can just breathe and acknowledge what has happened. If you are spiritual or religious you could use this time to pray, otherwise use calming self-speak.
Reach out :
Reach out to your support network and talk it through with them. Accept the love and care that others may have to offer you during this time. Remember, even positive change can be stressful.
Give yourself time:
Give yourself time to say goodbye and grieve the old that you are leaving behind as the page turns to a new chapter in your life.
Adjust:
Imagine a day at the beach. Your body gradually adapts to the temperature of the cold seawater when you decide to go for a swim. At first you are apprehensive as you anticipate the cold. You walk a little closer and wet your feet. You experience a bit of a shock as you feel the icy water. As you start to become accustomed to the temperature you go in a little further, and before you know it, you are swimming. This is how we can gradually adapt to changes in our lives when we open ourselves up it.
Keep an eye on your emotions:
Become aware of your emotions during this time. Why are you disappointed, sad or anxious? Is it because of your thoughts about the events in your life?
Be kind to yourself:
It is important that you practice self-care when going through any type of transition. Eat regular meals, get enough sleep, engage in soothing activities (while being present in the moment), maintain your routine, visit family and friends.
Prepare yourself:
Mentally and physically prepare yourself for the journey ahead. How are you going to set your plans in motion? What do you need for this next chapter? You might find that a to-do list helpful. Ask for advice from people who have been through similar transitions in their lives.
Be mindful:
Be mindful about what you are telling yourself. When sudden change has taken place, some might blame themselves asking what they could have done differently to prevent it, especially if the change is negative. Please bear mind that some shifts are beyond our control. Work on having a more positive dialogue (positive self-speak) with yourself. Take one step at a time. You will get through it.
Acceptance:
It is what it is. With time you can come to accept that life is not the same anymore. With acceptance comes peace and contentment.
Your values:
Wherever life may take you, hold onto your values. Your values ground you and helps you to find direction. Base your decisions on your own beliefs.
Write it down:
Journal what you have learned through your process of transition and become aware of the growth that you have experienced. Change is uncomfortable, messy and hard. But it is necessary in order for us to learn and grow. When you embark on new journeys in the future you can read through your journal and draw strength from your past experience as a reminder that you will get through it and find your rhythm again.
If you are really battling with a life transition, please reach out to a therapist, life coach or your spiritual /religious leader for guidance and support. You don’t have to face changes alone.
