In the final instalment on our series on relocating, we talk to four people who have taken the decision to relocate, both locally and abroad. We focus on their first-hand experiences of what the process was like for them and the effect it has had on them and their families.
Bernanda Chesterton: Kokstad to Cape Town to the United Kingdom
When I first experienced a big move, I was only a child, and as a child you don’t know much. All the decisions are made by the adults in your life. We were a big family of 7 brothers and sisters and we moved from a small town to a big city. It was strange for me, not what I was used to. I found the people to be so different from those I grew up with. But then again everything seems strange in a child’s mind.
My next move was unexpected. I never thought that, at my age, I would experience another big move and here I was moving all the way to the United Kingdom. My husband is from the UK, so we decided to settle here. There was an instant connection with my in-laws, and we bonded so quickly. Of course, I missed my children and grandchildren but our relationships have remained strong. We speak daily.
The relocation was relatively pain-free.
It was easy to arrange the various paperwork and visas, however, I would caution that if you are undertaking a move overseas, you must have patience. One can grow weary because of the bureaucratic red tape. Moving your entire life from one country to the next is a big decision to make, however I would say to be open to change. Life has many different experiences to offer, and you must open yourself up to them. Embrace the challenges and celebrate the wins.
Grant Cornelissen: Cape Town to Dubai to Limpopo to Johannesburg to Belgium
Our first move was from Cape Town to Dubai for a year in 2008. This was followed by 7 months in Lephelale, Limpopo in 2015. Then we relocated to Johannesburg in 2016 and stayed until 2021. We have had quite the adventure as a family and we have always been up for a challenge – you can’t grow from a place of comfort. Our decision to relocate from South Africa to Antwerp, Belgium, was easier because we have been through it once before.
This time around, what made it different was our kids.
I received a job offer which provided a level of security and stability that I did not see in my industry in South Africa. In addition, my wife and I wanted to give our kids the opportunity they would not otherwise have. Being a parent, you are always concerned with the safety of children and so this was another big part of why we chose to leave. The sense of safety is a freeing one, and we have breathed a little easier since being here.
The biggest challenge we have faced as a family has been the COVID-19 pandemic and everything that came with it. We were very fortunate – during our move we found a company that helped us move all our belongings. We did not have to worry about anything, it was all taken care of. I felt all we needed to do was move in.
We have always worked away from home and our extended family. We stay connected via video calling and instant messaging. But, as a family unit, we are closer. All our free time we spend together. I would say to anyone wanting to relocate – do your own research and accept that the unknown is the new normal for you.
Yolande Fenner: Pietermaritzburg to Durban to Cape Town
We always knew we would move to Cape Town; it was just a matter of when and how. We were fortunate enough for my husband to get a job opportunity and we decided to take the plunge. We saw Cape Town as the land of opportunity, and still do. It offers a better quality of life, certainly better than what we had experienced before.
The first order of business for us was getting quotes from reputable [moving] companies. This was a struggle to say the least. People often did not get back to us and we had to do all the follow-ups. We eventually settled on a company and made the payment upfront, which included the packing and unpacking of our belongings. During the moving process there were delays in getting our belongings to us. We arrived in Cape Town before our stuff did. In the end, the service we paid for was not the service we received.
Our expectations were not met.
The move may have started on a negative note, but we have grown in our relationships despite the distance. Personally, I have grown closer to my in-laws and speak to them more often now since the move. It has been difficult knowing they aren’t around the corner anymore. The silver lining is that I have my mom in Cape Town, which is a comfort.
My advice to anyone relocating is to plan in advance and speak to people who have had experiences with removal companies.
Mary-Jo Riglione: Cape Town to the Netherlands
My family and I moved to the Netherlands. The main reason we decided to relocate was for the want of a safer environment for our son – ensuring a better and safer future for him. Feeling secure about our child’s future is high on our list of priorities.
Our experience was an endless list of challenges. You really need go into relocation-mode with an open mind and the ability to adapt to new situations. You can plan as much as possible but there will always be unforeseen issues along the way. Having to find a home, childcare, creating friendships, navigating new systems in a foreign country is not something we ever had to face.
A new job or career can be extremely difficult to face with all the change. Throw in a pandemic and missing friends and family – it makes you reconsider everything and the reasons you decided to relocate in the first place. It is important to be on the same page as a couple. Navigating the decision-making process together is so important. Our biggest challenge thus far has been to create a supportive system for one another ensuring and having opening communication.
It is one of the most stressful situations you can go through, so a good solid understanding is key to the success of your relationship through this process. Friendships will take strain if you do not make a consistent effort to work harder on staying in contact and up to date with what is happening in each other’s lives. Constant voice and video calls with family is extremely helpful to maintain that important bond. It is all about communication. Without that, relationships can easily fall apart.
Our advice to anyone wanting to relocate:
Plan as much as possible ahead of any move, big or small.
Do your research. Be open to change and have an open mind. You need to be able to adapt to all situations as they come up. Communication is key. Do not be scared to make a move. Think of it this way, nothing needs to be forever – you can always make changes if it is not working for you or your family.
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Our intention was to give you four very different experiences of what, on the face of it, seems like the very same process – relocating from one place to another. These interviews have illustrated that there are no shortcuts and that every experience is different.
If you, a family member or friend are considering a big move, I recommend you catch up on our previous articles to help you navigate this journey, click here.
*Special thanks to all our participants. We wish you well in your new cities all over the world.
